You used to hurt me all of the time,
In the ways that you demotivated me,
In the ways that you deliberately made it difficult to express my confusion in sexuality and gender, simply because you didn’t understand or like it.
You put down my aspirations to exercise and body build. You caged me. You couldn’t let me dream, let alone achieve. You were selfish. You weren’t “chill” or “down to earth” or “understanding”… You were set in your ways of what YOU wanted. I didn’t go to Africa because of you… You never even let me talk about it. Thank god I didn’t let you talk me out of going to Idaho. Everything in our relationship was okay so long as I didn’t say something that you didn’t agree with. Because when you didn’t agree with something, you emotionally blackmailed me, and made me feel so guilty of my beliefs or wants or dreams… Because of YOUR past and YOUR insecurities. And it was fucking miserable… And I was sinking with you. And everything was so childish. I’m so glad that I’m in a better place.
I wonder what happens to mail that no one ever picks up or doesn’t have a return address….
Someone was supposed to send me back a book I let them borrow and I never got it, and it was never returned to the sender…. Like what the fuck. How does that happen.